


someone to lean on

by radiantgem



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Character Study, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, can someone please give Sora a pep talk like this in kh3 please I'm Begging, post-kh3, pretty much everyone else besides Terra and Sora are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 13:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17326250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiantgem/pseuds/radiantgem
Summary: “No frowning. No sad face. Okay?”Smiling did help when things got particularly rough. It was a good distraction, it helped him get the job done. Somewhere along the line though, he stopped letting himself feel anything that would wipe it off his face. He still had his moments where his inner doubt would come out, but he kept it at a minimum. He couldn’t let Donald or Goofy know about how he was feeling, there were more important things to take care of. People’s lives were at stake, worlds needed to be protected. Even if all he wanted inside was to go home and just be with his friends.Even if that was all he wanted these days.





	someone to lean on

**Author's Note:**

> I just found this as a WIP literally last night that I haven't touched since literally August, so needless to say I was shocked at the things I wrote becoming legit in Face my Fears and the Final Battle trailer. I wrote this in the hopes at digging deeper into Sora's character since he was thrust with so much pressure at such a young age, and it was never something he actively wanted? And with all these adults just expecting him to do all the work and not giving the kid credit where credit is due... I wanted him to have a pep talk. So, of course, I had Terra be that character since he's really good with kids, but also because I think he would be super bothered to see Sora have so much pressure on himself, when he shouldn't and so- here it is!
> 
> Some additional notes I would like to add for context:  
> \- Ventus has recently awoken, but due to his decade-long coma, it's going to take him a while before he can start walking again. I also make a reference to the scene in BBS when Sora says he felt something squeezing his heart (Ven), and I'd like to think it would work both ways.  
> \- To this day I still don't quite understand how Sora gained the ability to wield a Keyblade, so I made my own spin on it which I like better than the two possible ways canon provides us (thru Ventus or Riku)
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

Sneaking out of the castle was a lot more difficult than Sora expected it to be, with its grand halls and its maze-like layout. He spent a good few minutes lost in its hallways, the gentle light shining from the moon providing enough light that he wasn’t wandering aimlessly in darkness, but not enough to help him differentiate one hallway from the other. He felt relief wash over him the moment he entered the throne room, marveling at the huge stained glass window above the three empty wooden thrones. He knew where to go from there. He promptly walked down the stairs and opened the castle doors as gently as he could, and was greeted with a blast of cool air from the outside.

Goosebumps rose on his arms as he rubbed his hands over them, over and over, hoping to warm them up a little bit. “I should’ve brought a blanket,” Sora chastised himself as he shook his head lightly. It wasn’t as cold as Arendelle, thank Light, so it wasn’t that huge of a deal that he didn’t bring anything warm with him. But he was still up high in the mountains, where the winds blew incessantly, at night where the sun couldn’t provide him any warmth. He walked down the stairs one by one, careful not to trip. _Wouldn’t want to roll off the mountain._ He chuckled at the mental image the thought gave him, and went over to sit at the edge of his cliff, letting his legs swing back and forth.

There were crickets chirping softly nearby, probably hiding in the ivy coiling around the stone ruins enclosing the area. Sora wasn’t a night owl but, on the days he couldn’t fall asleep, he could always find peace in the midst of nature. He would have gone down to the summit, but he was still unfamiliar with the layout of the world, and he didn’t want to risk getting lost in the forest in the middle of the night. He could barely make it out of the castle without getting lost. A smile tugged at his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes. _Figures._ He was never the brightest when it came to his surroundings. Or when it came to anything really.

He remembered the phrase Donald told him when he first began his journey as if it was yesterday.

“ _No frowning. No sad face. Okay?”_

Smiling did help when things got particularly rough. It was a good distraction, it helped him get the job done. Somewhere along the line though, he stopped letting himself feel anything that would wipe it off his face. He still had his moments where his inner doubt would come out, but he kept it at a minimum. He couldn’t let Donald or Goofy know about how he was feeling, there were more important things to take care of. People’s lives were at stake, worlds needed to be protected. Even if all he wanted inside was to go home and just be with his friends.

Even if that was all he wanted these days.

He felt a ball in his throat start to form, and he clenched his hands into fists on his lap, feeling his nails imprint on his palm. He squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a shaky sigh. _I’m not sure how much longer I can do this._ The thought alone was enough to make him shiver again, until he felt a warm blanket land softly on his shoulders.

“It’s a nice night out,” Terra said as he sat himself down beside Sora, “though I doubt it’s nice enough for you to be out without anything to keep you warm.” Terra offered Sora a warm smile, “We have Ven wear layers for a reason.”

“Terra!” Sora felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. He wasn’t sure how much Terra saw given how surprisingly quiet he was getting to him. “Wh-what are you doing out here?”

Terra raised a questioning eyebrow, “I could ask you the same thing.”

Sora let out a shaky laugh as he sheepishly scratched his cheek. “Ya got me there.” He used his hands to wrap the blanket more securely around his arms. “I couldn’t sleep, so I came out here.”

Terra stared at him for a moment, his eyes searching for something Sora couldn’t place, before he let out a hum and looked up at the stars glittering in the night sky.

Sora hasn’t spent a lot of time with Terra on his own, but he’s seen him enough to not be intimidated by his serious façade. He’s seen the way Terra is around his friends, his whole demeanor softens and he’s left with a relaxed smile on his face. He’s seen the way he interacts with Naminé, the gentle and encouraging tone he uses whenever he compliments her drawings. He knows how protective he is just from seeing him in action against a group of heartless, doing everything he can to make sure everyone else is safe first, even if it means taking a couple hits when someone lets their guard down. It’s only when they’re talking about their plans regarding Xehanort does he put his walls up, his eyes turning hard and impenetrable as a brick wall.

Right now though, Sora can tell Terra is at ease, from his deep breaths and the way his eyes lazily scan the stars above them. Sora tilts his head a little at him before looking up at the stars again. “I guess you couldn’t sleep either huh.”

“Not quite,” Terra looked over at Sora, a small smile on his face, “Ven woke me up.”

Sora felt his heart beat raise in alarm. “Ven? Is he okay?”

Terra raised both of his hands and waved them down calmly, “Hey, don’t worry, he’s fine.” His smile remained on his face, but it looked sadder than it did before. “But I don’t think you are.”

Sora froze, he wasn’t sure what to say to that. He certainly wasn’t expecting it coming from Terra.

“Ven said he felt like something was squeezing his heart. Initially I was going to make him some hot cocoa to help him feel better, it’s what he liked to have whenever he was sick or sad. He couldn’t tell me any details but- I knew it had something to do with you. With you two being connected for so long, the thought of him still feeling what you’re feeling despite being in his own body again doesn’t surprise me. Nor does the fact you seemed to adopt some of his habits,” Terra’s eyes shined with amusement at the prospect, “I figured you’d be outside, it’s what Ven sometimes did when he wasn’t feeling well, when he was overwhelmed and  felt like he couldn’t talk about it.” He placed a hand on Sora’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, “I don’t know what you’re feeling right now, but I don’t want you feeling like this all on your own.” Terra’s smile turned more reassuring, his brown eyes soft with understanding, “If you need to talk about something, I’m here if you need it.”

Sora blinked, and had to use all of his power not to break down right on the spot. There was a heat growing behind his eyes, and the choking feeling returned in his throat in full force, but he refused to let it out. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time someone bothered to check up on him, not like this. Everything about this, from Ven being able to sense something was wrong, even though he no longer resided in Sora’s heart, to Terra giving him the chance to lean on him, was overwhelming and new. It made his heart soar and sink at the same time. He looked down at his feet, not trusting his voice or his face from keeping it together.

Terra didn’t seem fazed by his reaction, and instead chose to move his hand from his shoulder to his upper back, rubbing it in a comforting up and down motion. “You know, if Ven could walk, I’m sure he would’ve bolted out of bed to check on you.  I’m sure _any_ of your friends would do the same if they knew how you were feeling,” his eyes stared at Sora questioningly, “so why are you out here alone?”

Sora squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head weakly.

“Do you feel like they wouldn’t listen to you?” Terra inquired.

Sora’s voice wavered when he spoke, “I don’t wanna bother them. It’s late anyway.”

Terra’s hand stilled, but it didn’t leave Sora’s back. “Well, I’m here, right?”

There was a beat of silence then, a soft breeze of wind brushing Sora’s bangs to the side. Sora considered it, knowing he’s being given a chance to make his choice, and slightly nodded his head. He cleared his throat, but the choking feeling wouldn’t go away. When he spoke, his voice was heavy and quiet. “I don’t think I’m cut out for this.”

“What do you mean?”

“All of this, being a Keyblade Master, fighting a War,” Sora began to grip on his hold on the blanket on his shoulders, his thumb rubbing the soft fabric, “Back when we started making the raft to go see other Worlds, I never would’ve thought it’d lead to this. It’s nothing I signed up for, and- I’m not even meant for this stuff.”

Terra’s hand started to rub Sora’s back again, “What makes you think that?”

Sora shrugged. “Well, you chose Riku to inherit the Keyblade, so obviously you saw something in him to choose him. Kairi’s a Princess of Heart, so she’s always had powers to help others. I was never chosen to wield the Keyblade, I just- I just got caught up in all of this,” Sora paused, and looked up to stare at the clouds circling the distant mountains, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not angry I wasn’t chosen. It’s not like it’s something I ever wanted. I’m glad that I can help the people who made me who I am today but- at the end of the day I’m just some ordinary kid from a tiny island. But now it’s _my_ responsibility to stop Xehanort’s plan, and even though I saved the worlds twice, I still almost fell to darkness and fell into his plan, and _then_ I lost all my powers just trying to pass my Mark of Mastery exam! And I failed it too!” Sora could feel himself start to shake as he worked himself up. His lips tugged into a self-deprecating smile, “Xigbar was right. I’m not half the heroes you and the others are, I’m just a joke.”

“Hey now,” Terra’s voice lowered into a sympathetic tone, and Sora could already feel heat building up behind his eyes, “I wouldn’t go far enough to say you’re a joke.”

“Oh yeah?” Sora’s voice cracked. “Then what am I?”

“I think, you’re just as human, if not more, than the rest of us.”

Something about the sentiment hit deep inside Sora. It sounded like a subtle grant of permission to let go, to let go of the smile he uses to mask how he feels on the inside. It was enough for the tears he’s been holding back to spill relentlessly down his cheeks, and a silent choked sob to wrack through his body. He tried to wipe at his eyes to stop the tears from coming, but it was no use. Every time he blinked, a fresh batch of tears came flooding out.

Sora felt the hand being used to rub his back move to his shoulder so that Terra’s arm was draped around him. He could tell why Terra didn’t bother to bring anything warm for himself, the man was a human furnace, and from the chilly night wind and just the need for human contact, Sora leaned against Terra’s side. Automatically he felt Terra’s free arm wrap around him so that it was a proper hug, and a gentle weight lay on his head.

 

* * *

 

Whenever Sora cried growing up, the usual response from Riku was to quickly get him to stop crying. It was easier to handle if it was as simple as Sora scraping his knee, all that was needed was clean it with water and put a bandaid over it, and Sora would be as good as new. But if it was with anything else, whenever Sora had moments where he started to cry for seemingly no reason, Riku was at a loss. It set him off in a slight panic, and all he could do is awkwardly wrap his arm around Sora’s shoulders and plead with him not to cry. He would offer Sora some of his favorite candy that he secretly stored in a hidden compartment in his room, or would offer to play Sora’s favorite game at home in hopes of cheering him up. Sora knew that even if Riku wasn’t the greatest at comforting him when he was sad, he always made an effort to help him feel better.

Kairi would comfort him the best she could, and would let him cry until he let it all out. He didn’t necessarily like to be caught crying by her, even as a kid, but he knew he always felt better by the end of it. Sure, it was a little embarrassing to be caught crying like a baby when he kept being told to man up by the adults, but Kairi didn’t mind, and never made him feel bad about it. He always appreciated her for that.

As he got older though, he stopped letting them see him upset to that extent. It didn’t help that the other islanders had started to compare him to Riku more often. Riku was better than everything Sora did, the last thing he needed was for them to see him cry about it. And he wanted to look more capable in front of Kairi, so if he ever did need to cry for any reason, he learned to do it by himself, silently. It was a little lonely, but whatever sorrow he had back in the day was bearable. Even when it became too much, he’d feel a surge of relief and reassurance that felt like a gentle breeze soothing his heavy heart. Only now does he realize that he was never truly alone, since Ven has always been with him, helping him, in whatever way he could.

Even now, with the gentle but grounding weight around his shoulders and head, he was never truly alone.

 

* * *

 

Maybe it was because it had been such a long time since he was able to let it out like this, or it could have been because of the way he was being held reminded him of the way his own parents used to hold him when he was little. Whenever a bad hurricane hit the island and he was afraid their small wooden house would come apart as it creaked from the force of the wind, his mother would hold him in his arms and whisper “It’s going to be okay,” until he calmed down. Terra held him in a similar manner, one that was secure and protective, even though there wasn’t any outside threat. It really did feel like nothing could hurt him, and that feeling of safety made him sob harder for the days he took for granted on his small island.

He thought about the days when Riku, Kairi and him decided to build a raft to see other worlds. It was such an innocent desire, to expand their horizons, to see what was beyond everything they’ve ever known. Sora wondered if he had known sooner that he would end up going straight into a war that wasn’t his own in almost two years, would he have stayed in his island? Would he have been in his second year of high school right now, stressing over some essay that needed to be done? It felt hard to imagine such a mundane scenario, when he literally had the fate of the universe in his hands.

He almost wished he had stayed on the islands. At least then his future would be more or less set, and he’d know he would get to live a full life. Even with all his training, and all the battles he had fought in the past, Xehanort was a completely different foe, much more menacing and calculating than Ansem or Xemnas. He’s seen firsthand the damage Xehanort can do, with what happened to Terra, Aqua, and Ventus. And while he hated thinking about it, he’s never heard of a war where everyone survives. He knew he wouldn’t be able to protect everybody, the possibility of _any_ of his friends being gone by the end of it scared him to death. There was no guarantee even  _he_ was going to be able to make it out alive.

It was the grand scale of this dilemma that had Sora buckling under its weight, and it brought up all the feelings he had been brushing under the rug to light. _How am I gonna defeat this guy? Not even the three heroes who were chosen and trained for longer than I was were able to beat him. How am I supposed to do it?_

With a shaky hand, he laid it over his heart and muttered, “I’m scared.” He felt Terra slightly tighten his grip around him. “I’m so- _so_ scared. I’m not like you guys, I don’t know how I’m going to defeat Xehanort. He’s- he’s on a whole different level. It’s like he _knows_ what’s gonna happen, like he’s always one step ahead of us and I have no idea how to beat that! Soon we’re going to go to war with him and I- it just scares me to death, even just thinking about it.”

Sora felt the weight that was on his head lift when he heard a sniffle. He felt his ears twitch in alarm as he quickly looked up to see what was wrong, only to see Terra looking down at him with such remorse that it took him aback. If he looked closely enough, he can see water gathering up in Terra’s eyelids.

“Terra? Are you-“

“I’m sorry,” Terra croaked. “I’m so sorry that you got caught up in this.”

Sora froze. He wasn’t expecting an apology.

“If only I had known what he was doing, maybe all of this could’ve been avoided.” He paused for a second before continuing, “It’s not right that someone as young as you has to worry about any of this. You should be worrying about school, or whatever it is kids do these days. This- this war was never yours. And the life of a keyblade wielder, and the dangers that come with it, well, Aqua refrained from giving you the power all those years ago. But I suppose fate had other plans.”

“Wait- Aqua? She was going to give me the power?”

Terra nodded sadly. “She told me about when she first met you two, it wasn’t long after I visited your island and gave the power to Riku. She said that she recognized what I did, and decided not to pass it down to you, in the hopes that you would avoid what had happened to us because of the keyblade. But it wasn’t enough.”

Sora let the new information sink in. Something akin to a seed of light bloomed in his heart, tingling in his insides, making him feel warm. “She was trying to protect me.”

“Of course. I only wish it had been enough, so you wouldn’t have to be involved in this. But, since that’s not the case,” Terra lightly squeezed Sora’s shoulder as he looked with a determined glint in his eye, “know that Aqua, Ven and I are going to do whatever it takes to make sure you and your friends make it out. Alright?”

 _He’s trying to protect me too._ The warm feeling in Sora’s chest spread, overwhelming him so much that he couldn’t speak his gratitude. His grin turned into an easy smile, and he nodded.

Terra grinned slightly, before his gaze turned into one of concern.

“What you said earlier, about being a joke.”

Sora scratched his cheek sheepishly as he averted his eyes. He didn’t wanna go back to that.

“Listen, the Mark of Mastery exam? You’re supposed to have a lot more time to prepare for it than what Yen Sid did with you and Riku. And for him to fail you for something you had no control over, and that he didn’t take into consideration, that doesn’t make you a joke at all. Even for someone as wise as Yen Sid, that doesn’t make everything he does right, so don’t beat yourself up over that. I spent my whole life preparing for the Mark of Mastery, and I still failed.” Terra smirked a little. “And Xehanort still couldn’t completely beat me.”

 Sora huffed in amusement. “I guess that’s true.”

“And you know, the fact that you weren’t chosen in the traditional sense, kind of makes the fact you can wield one at all the more special. It means the Keyblade _itself_ chose you. Not because it was passed down by somebody else, because of your heart.”

Sora’s eyes widened a bit as he looked up to meet Terra’s eyes.

“Ven would’ve died before Aqua and I even got to meet him if it weren’t for you. And honestly, I don’t imagine Aqua or I would have made it if we didn’t have him to look after after everything that happened. You’re the reason we had the strength to keep going towards the future, and I’m not just speaking about myself or Aqua. I’m talking about _everyone_ that you’ve helped. You could ask anyone in the castle, and I know they would all agree. Your compassion is why so many of us are here today, and ready to fight with you. I don’t ever want you to forget that, alright? So be kinder to yourself. You’ve had to deal with the consequences of our mistakes for so long, but you don’t have to shoulder that burden alone. Not anymore.”

Sora gave a watery laugh, not even trying to wipe away the fresh batch of tears cascading down his cheeks. It was different this time. These weren’t tears of fear or sorrow, they were full of gratitude. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a chance to properly rely on an adult for emotional support. Here he grew up with adults shaming him for being inferior to the ideal Riku personified, to having the responsibility to finish a war that was not his own when he was still a kid shoved on his shoulders. He didn’t think much about his compassionate side. He wasn’t necessarily proud of it nor did he dislike it, it was just a part of who he is. To him, it was as natural as breathing air. Never did he stop to think that his compassion was made him special, nor did he think it would ever result in his burdens being lifted to lighten the weight on his shoulders.

“Thank you, Terra.” Sora wiped his cheeks with the blanket and found that smiling, _really_ smiling, came easily to him now. “I really needed to hear that.”

Terra grinned warmly as he reached over to ruffle Sora’s head. “Don’t mention it kiddo. It’s important to talk about stuff like this.” He covered his mouth to hide his yawn, and he slowly blinked the sleepiness lingering in his eyes. “I’m beat, so I think I’m gonna head back inside. Do you wanna come with? We can pay Ven a visit, if you want.”

Sora nodded eagerly. “Yeah! I want him to see that I’m okay now.”

“Alright, let’s get going then.” Terra stood up and started to make his way up the stairs.

Sora followed after and practically hopped his way up to the grand doors. Before Terra opened the doors to go inside, Sora took one last look up at the stars twinkling in the night sky. He didn’t know what the future would hold, and the fear of not knowing was still there. But that’s okay, because he knew he wasn’t going forward alone. He’s no longer the fourteen-year-old kid who was thrust with the responsibility of keeping the darkness at bay and protecting the countless worlds out there on his own. He has a community of keyblade wielders to rely on when things get tough, something that he never really had before. And when things do go wrong in that final battle, as they always do, he knows he has the strength to overcome it.


End file.
